SINGAPORE NOVEMBER 2025

My fourth visit in… 25 years. Every time, more buildings and more rules. Smoking is only allowed in designated zones, no littering with strict fines, no eating and drinking on public transport, restricted alcohol consumption in public places, and now… vaping and e-cigarettes are strictly prohibited. As well as a fine, the punishment for this includes being beaten with a large paddle-like bat – a form of police-administered Gladiators.

I am back again to train some clients before linking up with Sarah in Hanoi and then taking some R&R in Laos and Cambodia. The trip over is probably the best long-haul experience I have had – no traffic into Heathrow T2, Singapore Airlines check-in with no queue, straight through passport and security, a decent lounge, a quiet on-time flight, and first out of the plane for their now legendary one thumb print immigration. I never gave them my thumb print beforehand, so it’s truly impressive. Straight into a cab and to my hotel – the Oasia Hotel Downtown on Peck Seah Street, whose rooftop is somewhat similar to London’s Gherkin. After a snooze I take a bracing swim in an empty (of people) pool on the 27th floor.

The next day is a working day which goes well. My attempt to have a quiet meal on the 27th floor is thwarted because it is rammed with a carousing event. Maybe I’ll try again.

 

Day 3 is free, so I conjure a plan to explore some of the city. Although I have been round it before, it feels as though something round here is built every day, so it’s worth a look. I start by taking a 10-minute cab ride to the north of the city, starting with some culture at the National Museum of Singapore. The building is a refreshingly traditional one, albeit somewhat spoilt by renovations inside and out. My cabbie is charmingly mute, unlike the one the day before when the driver held forth on all matters of security and discipline, including how the governments of the UK, France, Italy and Canada had reneged on their duty to prevent tourists form being pickpocketed. He was extremely proud that in Singapore people were either caned or put in jail for a week for a range of transgressions. The museum was charming enough, with interesting history about how Singapore came to exist and a fair dollop of jingoistic statements that proclaimed their progress on the world stage – borderline propaganda but based on national pride and generally well-intentioned. It felt a bit odd having to wear my backpack on the front of my torso, but round here the rules are the rules, and I didn’t fancy my first caning since boarding school. The second exhibition was truly bizarre – a grotto-like illuminated affair that conveyed next to nothing.

I walked a few blocks to Raffles to discover that the famous Long Bar had been unsympathetically refurbished and now looks like any normal pub. It was full, with people waiting outside to get in at 11.20 in the morning. Walking here is somewhat more time consuming than in many other cities because of their strict jaywalking rules and the manner in which traffic lights tend to favour cars over pedestrians. You can walk a huge block and then wait five minutes to cross the road. My route took me down past the Padang, home of the Singapore Cricket Club, the classic Victoria Theatre, crossing the river past the majestic Fullerton Hotel, through the congested financial centre and down Cecil Street to downtown. Something striking on such a stroll is the total absence of any street level shops or bars – everything is a tower block or a plaza, and the plazas are pretty horrible inside – stinky and congested. I return to my hotel, which from street level resembles a towering orange and green phallus, and I discover with horror that it completely dwarfs a charming ground level temple that was built in 1905. How planning permission was granted is a complete mystery. I have a well-earned beer next to a brilliantly named dental practice called Toof Doctor and retire for lunch.

 

Closing remarks on Singapore. It’s really quite dull and homogenized. On the plus side, it is clean and everything works, but the degree of sanitization leaves it with little or no character. Since they ripped out all the low-level housing along the river, it’s really just an extended version of Canary Wharf. Everyone should visit once, but don’t expect to be culturally bowled over. 5 out of 10.